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I find it dark inside this anxious space,
Words fly about with no care of meaning.
Some fear to enter their own sun filled place.
I'll escape; to leave this place I'm keening.

Though the times are tough and others may pry
I'll show who I am, leave what I am not.
Help others esape. Help them not to cry.
To be who we are, we'll give it a shot.

We'll sing it out loud. We'll sing the anthem.
We'll frolic and dance, "We're free now," I say.
Fear us you may, but free we must be. Them
Others can just hide out until dooms day.

Be who you are, and stop who you're not. Love
One another and be proud like the dove.
©2008-2009 ~Zieza
:iconzieza:

Author's Comments

We had to write sonnets for class, and it was recommended that we write about something we feel strongly about...lol so I wrote about being gay and how awesome it feels to come out. It's pretty vague though, so it kinda applies to just about any kind of problem where people deserve equality.

Comments


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:icongraphiteuser:
Interesting rhyming scheme. I see what you're doing (rhyming every other line) but in some cases (Anthem/Them and Love/Dove) it seems forced, especially because in order to keep the flow of the poem going you're forced to break the sentences, which makes it stumble. And you're right, I wouldn't have initially thought that it was about coming out of the closet. Still, if you modify the last two stanzas, it will allow the casual reader to look more at the meaning and not at the rhyme scheme.

Overall, good poem. It has a lot of potential.

(Advanced critique encouraged, yes?)

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November 16, 2008
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